I'm feeling just like I did when I was in school. Plenty of people know me, or at least know who I am, but no one wants to spend time with me, it feels like. I mean, I had my Stephen minister for a month, and now I have a spiritual director, but I don't have any friends to go out and do stuff with.

Tonight the guys are in the house, eating and having fun (I don't know if they have friends over) and as usual I'm sitting on the porch, wishing desperately that I could be a part of it -- or a part of something. As I said in my Instagram post, I'm sick of being alone and lonely, feeling like no one really wants me or cares about me.

I had a chance to go to Cochran House last night and hang out, watching The Jungle Book and visiting. Unfortunately I took an Uber to Jack in the Box for an early dinner and left my phone in the car so had to wait and hope the driver would come back. (She did, and even gave me a ride home.) So I missed my chance to go up there. But even that was a community event, not something they invited me to because they wanted to spend time with me personally.

To be fair, Justin has put me on his schedule a few times and will continue, for which I'm very grateful. He does want to be friends. And I do know how busy the girls at Cochran and the guys at Bonhoeffer are. But I don't think it's too much to want people to hang out with.