Just left the house and am on my way back to Bonhoeffer.
We had lots of fun tonight as usual. There were only four of us at the table -- Lisa had a late meeting, two of the usual guests were at Seder at SMU, and another is in Austin, so it was just me, Justin, Rebecca, and Macie. We spent quite a while building a monastery on an island off the coast of Scotland (or Ireland, wherever). 😁 Macie texted Lisa to come home and help us. (She sent it as a group text to the "Holy Club", the four residents of the house.)
And of course that made me feel lonely. I understand that most of their texts back and forth are logistical in nature, regarding stuff involving only them, but it made me wish I had more friends, or at least more people to talk to and just be silly like that with. (Lisa thought we'd all lost it, I think. Well, okay, I think she knows we lost it long ago... Did we ever have it??? LOL)
Like I said in my last post, I don't want to seem like I'm trying to push myself on people by approaching them and "begging" them to be my friends -- that's how I'd see it. (Of course past experiences have me so messed up I don't even know how others would see it. And they all have their own lives; who knows if they'd have time for me?)
Something's wrong when you're too scared to try to make friends. I'm fine, as I said, when people approach me (if I hadn't been almost desperate the first time I went to Bonhoeffer House, who knows if I'd be part of things now?) I just don't know what to do.
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