Soul searching

I've been thinking, and I've come to the conclusion that the reason I'm so attached to Bonhoeffer House is because the guys are here, and recently they're really the only ones who have been.

Don't get me wrong, I love my brothers here, but I honestly don't want to spend all my time with them. (Shocking, I know.) Given the chance to hang out with other people, I'd take it. I have taken it. I want to make other friends. I want to get to know people. That's why I've been begging for someone to call me, message me on Facebook, anything. I don't want to just talk about my problems; that's getting old even for me.

I'm a Star Trek fan. I'm a classic rock fan. I love to read anything from horror (Stephen King, Dean Koontz) to mystery (Mary Higgins Clark) to John Grisham... and I also love humor. (Unfortunately my own sense of humor seems to have gone underground for the most part of late, but I promise you I do have one!) As most of you have noticed, I'm also a writer. I'm articulate (most of the time 😊), intelligent, idealistic... But you all know that. Yes, I talk slow, but that doesn't mean I am slow (and no one's really treated me like I am, for which I'm thankful).

Bottom line: there may be resources at a shelter that I can't get from Bonhoeffer or Grace, but what about the connections, the friendships that I also need? Being at a shelter won't alleviate the desperate loneliness I feel. I just want someone to spend time with me, getting to know me as a person. I don't know if it's too late to form that kind of a friendship with a couple of the guys at Bonhoeffer -- I pray it's not. But I can make friends outside of that community if I have a chance to.