I'm feeling just like I did when I was in school. Plenty of people know me, or at least know who I am, but no one wants to spend time with me, it feels like. I mean, I had my Stephen minister for a month, and now I have a spiritual director, but I don't have any friends to go out and do stuff with.

Tonight the guys are in the house, eating and having fun (I don't know if they have friends over) and as usual I'm sitting on the porch, wishing desperately that I could be a part of it -- or a part of something. As I said in my Instagram post, I'm sick of being alone and lonely, feeling like no one really wants me or cares about me.

I had a chance to go to Cochran House last night and hang out, watching The Jungle Book and visiting. Unfortunately I took an Uber to Jack in the Box for an early dinner and left my phone in the car so had to wait and hope the driver would come back. (She did, and even gave me a ride home.) So I missed my chance to go up there. But even that was a community event, not something they invited me to because they wanted to spend time with me personally.

To be fair, Justin has put me on his schedule a few times and will continue, for which I'm very grateful. He does want to be friends. And I do know how busy the girls at Cochran and the guys at Bonhoeffer are. But I don't think it's too much to want people to hang out with.

Meeting, 2/23/17

I just had a very productive meeting/brainstorming session with Adam, Judith, and Ryan about how I can use my gifts to help at the church and Bonhoeffer.

One thing I can do is write a short note for the Grace newsletter once a month about what's going on at the house (for instance, if I'd written something to go out this week, I would have said that we will not be having community meals on March 1st due to the Ash Wednesday service at the church or on the 15th as three of the residents will be out of town then, and that we will be meeting for coffee and fellowship on the 25th and March 4th).

Once we see how that goes, I can start writing twice a month, as well as perhaps writing a Bonhoeffer House blog. (There actually used to be one written by the first house steward, but I guess he got too busy to keep it updated. 😊)

I'm also going to see about joining a couple of committees at the church; the Hospitality (Welcome) Committee (self-explanatory) and the Board of Church and Society (aka the Justice Team) which works for equal rights for the LGBT+ community, the disabled, and others. Plus, as I've said, I've been invited to join​ UMW and I've signed up for a Meet and Eat group.

I have a feeling I'm going to be quite busy (you should see the big ol' smile on my face right now)...